A long time...

So I have to say it's been a really really long time since I've had anything shut off for non-payment, but low and behold when we get home tonight we have a shut off notice from the cable company. Not that we have been watching much TV at all lately but I like to be able to sit down and watch it when I want to. I hate even the thought that I had something turned off for non-payment, I have been able to avoid that for more than 5 years. I don't want to be in this situation. I hate the fact that I have to rely on someone else to help support me. I am a very independent person and I'm not feeling very independent right now. I still haven't contacted a lawyer but really need to do so soon. I tend to procrastinate things that I don't want to deal with and this is one of those things. I did finally make an appointment with my advisor for school finally. I have an appointment next Friday to meet with her and figure out my schedule and get registered and hopefully she can help me get some more grants and scholarships. That's the other thing I am worried about since right now I have only been given one pell grant for $1200 and that's it. I don't think that even covers my tuition and books, let alone enough to cover all of my living expenses. Luckily I should have no problem qualifying for ICCP now because I finally got to move accounts at work. I lost another $.50 but now I can get merit increases rather than never getting any incentive. I know I will be happier in this account too because I have an awesome boss that will totally back me up on everything. Doesn't hurt that he is pretty much family too...LOL! Speaking of that, it seems my family has become extremely protective of me since my divorce. They don't want me to get hurt again. They all keep asking me about Brian and then apparently my aunt was asking my boss all kinds of questions about him but he doesn't know him since he's not in his account. So he had to ask me about him and told me he would be interrogating him soon. LOL! It's so funny because I guess I never really noticed or realized how much my family really cares about me. It's really nice to know that they are there. We went to visit grandma on Sunday for mother's day and had a nice chat. My uncle Mark was there too. It was kind of funny because I left the keys in the house when we went to leave so I went back in to get them and grandma and Mark were talking about Brian and grandma had to ask what his last name was, I told him and she says, "Is that Spanish?" My uncle looked like he was going to fall over laughing and says, "No, it's Japanese!" I had to laugh that my uncle would react that way. Then he wanted to know if his family was from around here to which I responded yes. He said he knows someone in his family but he can't remember who or where from, he just knows that he recognizes the name and Brian. I thought it was insanely funny because it's such a small world. Honestly it's pretty crazy.
It's odd that when you feel like you love someone so much that you could just burst that then you begin to feel that love grow more. One of my friends told me today that I had better still be careful so I don't get hurt. She said because she felt that way about someone and then 6 mos later he just left. That does scare me when I think of the fact that this is something that could happen. But I also don't want to let myself think that it is even a possibility. Honestly, I don't know what I would do without him in my life. I told her that I really wasn't worried about something like that happening because I have known him for so long and we know each other so well. Obviously, there are things we still need to learn about each other because I think that is something that happens for a long time but I feel that I know enough that I don't have to worry about it. I know that he still amazes me. One thing I realized today though is that I have never really truly seen him mad. Nor has he seen me really mad. He has seen me very upset but I have not even seen that from him. It's kind of weird because I kind of have this picture in my head of him that he can't get really mad or upset. Although I know that isn't true, it just almost seems that way since I have never seen it. Well, gonna go have some dinner. I'll probably add later.