Why does life have to be so complicated. Brian seems to think that my luck has gone to shit since I've been with him. It kind of has but it's nothing to do with him. He is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Everything else seems to literally be falling apart around me. I have no money, my check was short, I have bills that I am already behind on and have no money in savings to make up for it. I finally told my mom that I got demoted, she took it really well. I still have not had the guts to tell her about all the money I had in savings from my taxes. I have no idea if I will ever see that money again. I have tried to contact J, I sent an e-mail to his school e-mail address but no reply. The only other way I might be able to get a hold of him is through his probation officer. Hopefully I can do that. According to the contract his payment is due May 1st. If I don't see any money from him or hear from him I will be contacting an attorney to see what I can do. I still can't believe how stupid I was. I really hate money. Life is so much harder when you have money issues. I can't stand this feeling. I am so glad that I have Brian to support me through my stupidity. I just want to get past all of this and not have to deal with it anymore. I am trying really hard not to let it affect my mood and the way I act, although I think I am catching myself getting a little moddy now and then because I'm worried about it. I can't not worry so I have to figure out another way to fix this and to compensate differently for the stress. I think I've become a nympho as part of my way of coping, hope that's not a bad thing. LOL!