Ok this is so weird, so we were driving to work today and Brian had a CD in of a bunch of songs that he really likes. This song came on I think it's called "I can only imagine". It is a religious song and as we know I am not a very religious person but I do find that I enjoy listening to some songs like this. Anyway, I normally sing along to this particular song because it is awesome, Brian started to sing along and I just couldn't help but stop and listen to him. It's amazing, I loved it, I don't really know why but I just wanted to play the song over again and listen to him more. I am so in love with him it's scary. I almost cried today, I don't know why I just feel overwhelmed with my love for him and I think still scared of it too. He is so amazing. Today he was getting the kids to get ready to leave for daycare and as always it is a fight with them. I love how he helps me with them but at the same time I feel so guilty because they are totally my responsibility and he shouldn't have to help me with them. I want them to like him and respect him and not think that he is mean because he is always trying to help me out with them. If they were a little older they might understand more but I think at this age all they really remember are the things that he does that they think are mean. Even though there are so many things when they are so excited because he did something they loved. With this situation I don't know what to do. I don't have a handle on my children's discipline and am trying to do that and Brian is helping tremendously. I guess I just need to take more control and hopefully they will start to settle in with the changes and things will calm down, they seem to be testing the waters a lot lately.