Whirl wind of hell

I think I'm in a whirl wind of hell with a little piece of heaven in the middle. Literally everything around me is falling apart and seems to keep crumbling farther down, the only thing keeping me afloat is love. Love is a very powerful thing and it does wonders for a person. Yesterday I found out that work is screwing me even more than they have before. They dropped my pay $2/hr rather than the $1/hr that I got for being a trainer. Apparently my original training supervisor that gave me a $1 raise has decided that I don't deserve to keep that raise. So now I am basically making the same amount as a person that started working here last week. I have been here for nearly 3 years now and was on the training team for almost 2 of that and this is how I am treated. It seems that the training admin are the only ones that feel I am not a value to this company but they are the only ones that can do anything at this point. So I talked to our operations manager last night in my mess of tears. I was trying so hard not to get that upset but I just couldn't stop, the well being of my family is at stake and it seems that the training team still has control of it. My ops manager is committed to doing everything he can for me right now. He is going to try to get me out of TLC by next week, then at least I will be in an account where I can get merit increases. I will hopefully be going to ASC which will allow me to put my knowledge to good use and I will have who I consider to be the best manger overall that I have ever seen. I am also applying for state aid since that is absolutely going to be the only way I can make it now. Hopefully they will pay for at least half of my day care costs and hopefully I will also be able to get at least $200 in food stamps. This would be ideal and allow me to have enough to pay for my other bills. I don't know what I am going to do for this month since my last check was so short. I heard from J on Friday, he called to see if we could work things out and get back together?! As if! I don't even think so, even if I wasn't with Brian right now I would not even think about it. He is so lame it is not even funny, I tried to talk to him last night about my money but as soon as he heard that I was seeing someone he hung up on me. So tonight I am going to call him and I will not be so nice. I think once I can get over this hump of terrible things then everything will be ok. Brian assures me we will be fine and I really do believe him. Like I said before he is keeping me afloat. He is my lifesaver. My life would not be the same without him and even though our relationship is very new I know that he is my true love and that cannot change, I have felt this connection with him for so long and it is so nice to finally be able to express my true feelings to him. I love him truly and deeply.