I can't find my blog! LOL

Well, I don't know where to begin. I need to start blogging more often....I get lost as to where I am at sometimes. LOL Well, again I am at a loss. Jizr has me working on finding myself again. It is definitely something I want to do but is going to be a lot of work. I just keep piling it on. Sometimes I think it's good to just tackle all of these things all at once. So, Jamaal asked me today if my offer to have him move in was still on the table. I told him it was but that we had a lot of things to discuss. As of yet, I have not heard back from him on that. The thing is I really want to be with Jared if that is something that is possible. I can not wait forever for him though. That is how I ended up going out with J in the first place. I do love J but if I had a choice today to be with one of them for the rest of my life, I would choose Jared. I just feel like I have so much more of a connection with him. I kind of want to see what may be in the cards with J but at the same time I don't want to jeopardize what may be in the cards with Jared. This is all just getting too complicated. Maybe I should just cut the cord with both of them and start fresh again. ARGH!!!!! I told Jared last night that I really wanted to find out where our relationship could go but that I couldn't wait forever for him. He didn't really say much other than, he promised it would get better. I don't really know what he meant by that. I guess I just kind of have to wait it out. I won't just sit by idly though. I have already started talking with 2 other guys who seem very nice. The best prospect probably being a guy from Pocatello named Nate. He seems pretty awesome. I've only been talking to him about a week. We'll see what kind of prospect he turns out to be...LOL I will have to see what kind of conversation I have with J before I make a final decision on him. Until then, the jury is still out, for me anyway. Well, I'm out for now.