Sigh of relief

Finally! I finally started my cycle, what a relief. (Big sigh of relief) You know I really want another baby but I just can't right now. I really want to be married before I have another baby and especially with the things going on with J and I right now that probably would not be a good situation at all. I just don't know what to do right now. I hate being in this situation, I hate the fact that J hates me. I just don't want to do this anymore, if I could rewind time I would. This is probably the worst situation I've ever put myself in.