I don't understand

I no longer know where I am. I thought I knew, I thought I knew where we were headed, at least a general direction anyway. I feel like I must be in some alternate universe somewhere. It can't be that I am in the same place I thought I was a week ago. I feel betrayed and hurt and sad. What happened? What went wrong? Was I wrong all along? What's wrong with me? Why can't I seem to get it right? I can't even think through my own thoughts and feelings right now. I am feeling so many things that I can't even describe right now. I never say things right. I have no words for the ache I feel in my heart.
If this was wrong God and it can't be fixed then I am done. I will pick up the pieces and help my children through this and I will not do it again.