AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so freaking out right now. I have no idea why. I feel like the world is imploding on me. I want to just run away and hide under my blanket and go to sleep until it ends. I can't think straight and my brain can't seem to grasp anything right now. I just feel like something is horribly wrong and I no reason for it. I feel like there's something wrong with me. What is the problem? I want to cry for absolutely no reason at all. I can't figure this out. Why is it that I feel the need to carry all of the burden for everyone? What is my problem? When it comes to my own things I guess it's because I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to. My family just tells me about everything I'm doing wrong or that I need help or this or that. They never understand anything that I'm going through. Every time some little thing happens all my sister can do is tell me that there's something wrong with my kids or that I need to see someone about it or whatever. First of all, you don't have to see someone for everything, lord knows she doesn't. Second of all I can't afford to go see someone for every little thing. I can't afford much of anything right now. We pay our bills and keep food on the table and gas in the car and that's about it. I'm never going to get married because we can't afford a ring let alone a wedding of any kind. I can't talk to my parents because I feel like a failure every time I have anything go wrong and the things that I've had to tell them about just make me feel worse. Brian has his own stuff to deal with and I'm trying to help with that and my best friend lives in IF and I only talk to her every once in a while and she's usually pretty busy so I'd rather not talk to her about my problems. I don't know what else to do. I'm lost.