There used to be a time when you actually cared when I felt like you gave a shit about my feelings. those days seem so far away now. you say horrible hurtful things to me and don't even care how it affects me. I want things back the way they were before, there are so many mean and hurtful things that I wish I could say to you to get you back but I can't because I love you so much, I don't want things to be this way. You have hurt me in a way that I can't even describe with words, my heart feels like it's been ripped out of my chest and torn open with a dull knife, that really doesn't even begin to describe how I feel right now. I just want to hate you, I wish that I could, it would probably be so much easier. You have been my best friend and I so badly do not want to lose you. I hate that you would treat me this way, I never thought that would ever be possible. It seems like ever since you started school you have let the stress come between us. I knew that it would be hard and it would be stressful but I didn't think that it would come to this. I am sitting here right now with so many tears in my eyes that I can barely make out what I am writing. I half expect you to come down the stairs and tell me how sorry you are and how much you love me but I know that's not going to happen. The book I have been reading says that I should state my unrealistic expectations and I think that's it. You're probably already asleep without any care as to how I am feeling right now, only worried about the exam you have in the morning. That should be all you are worried about. I didn't want it to turn out like this, all I wanted was to talk about it. To feel like you heard me to know you care about my feelings. Lately it seems like everything is about you. I don’t want to lose you, I love you but I want to feel cared about again